Gazing At Something Obscure
by asarix-sarai
Summary: "'I found a new song that I really want to show you,' Nagisa beams, and Rei settles into a familiar feeling of anticipation. He never knows exactly what is going to play from Nagisa's music library." Or: In which Nagisa is actually the sun, and Rei burns hopelessly in his light.


Crossposted at /works/6588745.

This fic was the accidental result of a conversation about everyone's favorite second-year Iwatobi dorks! More notes at the bottom. Enjoy~

* * *

With a soft grunt, Rei lowers himself to the smooth concrete heated by the afternoon sun. In the afterglow of a successful competition morning, he can't seem to be bothered by the dust that threatens to dirty his athletic shorts. He is simply content with the moment and the spot he has chosen – just out of the way of passing crowds, close enough to the aquatic facility to run inside if he is needed, nestled in a perfect patch of sunlight, warm against the slight chill of the gentle spring breeze.

Rei places his hands behind him, leaning back as he stretches his legs out in front of him. He revels in the moment of relaxation after the flurry of events earlier in the morning. Makoto still has a race later on in the afternoon, but the team has no otherwise obligations for at least a couple hours, having gotten their own races out of the way in the morning.

Pushing the excitement and stress of competition out of his mind, he closes his eyes, taking in the radiant warmth of the afternoon. He listens to his surroundings – crows cawing in an alley a few feet away, the gentle breeze rustling the trees surrounding the building, the dull roar of the idle conversations of passersby, and the light but erratic rhythm of footsteps.

"Rei-chaaaan~!"

Rei nearly jumps out of his skin at the insistent, resounding voice coming from directly in front of him. His heart palpitates in surprise and recognition, threatening to burst from excitement edged with hesitant annoyance.

Recovering from the shock, he opens his eyes slowly. As he peers from behind his protectively raised right arm, Rei finds himself nearly blinded by the ring of bright sunlight haloing his attacker's head, the rays catching golden strands dancing gently in the breeze. He swallows back a gasp.

"Ah… hello, Nagisa-kun!" he replies, squinting at the sight of his small teammate bent expectantly over him, hands on his knees. Rei has trouble discerning between the two sources of brightness – the halo of sunlight surrounding his friend's frame, and the brilliant, toothy smile Nagisa flashes him in greeting. He stares too long, utterly dazed.

Rei shakes the stars from his eyes and smiles nervously up at Nagisa, still squinting as he gestures for the small boy to sit with him. Nagisa huffs as he plops heavily onto the concrete between Rei's spread feet, crossing his legs and sitting up with a perfectly straightened back, hands closing around his sharply bony ankles.

"What were you doing over here? Sleeping?" Nagisa jests, tilting his head to smirk at his teammate.

Rei scoffs as he shakes his head, smirking toward the pavement to hide a bashful blush. "Of course I wasn't _sleeping_ , Nagisa-kun – I was simply sitting, and enjoying the sunshine."

Nagisa hums a less-than-quiet "Oooooh", turning his head toward the horizon in wonder. Rei watches as Nagisa breathes deeply through his nose as his eyes flutter closed, soaking in the same warmth Rei had basked in mere moments ago. The light reflects gold off of Nagisa's long eyelashes, and Rei's breath hitches in his throat as something tightens in his chest. Nagisa hums again through a contented smile, and Rei thinks he could sit here and watch his teammate forever.

"Ah, Rei-chan, I almost forgot!" Nagisa exclaims suddenly, whipping his head around toward the bag discarded at his side, beginning to dig through it.

Rei recovers from the shock more quickly, this time. "What is it, Nagisa-kun?" he chuckles breathily.

Nagisa emerges victoriously from the depths of his shoulder bag with his phone and a set of earbuds, and Rei's heart warms. He knows exactly where this is going.

"I found a new song that I really want to show you," Nagisa beams, and Rei settles into a familiar feeling of anticipation. He never knows exactly what is going to play from Nagisa's music library. Though the boy never strays too far from sounds that fall somewhere between rock and pop, he always seems to have something new, different, and interesting to show from his borderline obsessive excursions through the music of the internet and the small record shop nestled on a busy corner of the main square in Iwatobi.

On occasion, Rei will even find himself dragged unwillingly into the shop by his small friend, though he can never find it in himself to truly protest the chance to watch Nagisa flip eagerly through dusty records and CDs, chatting excitedly with the shop owner about new arrivals and recommendations. Nagisa's glow in these moments is different from that of a successful relay or an improved lap time: it's brighter, sweeter, more uniquely Nagisa. Rei is ever thankful for Nagisa's distracted search in these moments, as he is allowed the opportunity to stare and appreciate the boy's beaming smile unabashedly. Cute, he would describe the boy in these moments – not that his sense of pride would allow him to say so out loud.

The other members of the team are as well aware of Nagisa's obsession with music as Rei – it's an especially common subject of conversation when Haruka and Rin are in the room – but they are never pulled by the wrist into the tired shop, are never subject to afternoons spent lounging across Nagisa's couch or nestled in the comfy chairs in the corner of a local smoothie shop, scrolling through Nagisa's Spotify and 8Tracks accounts. To Rei's knowledge, he is the only person Nagisa seeks directly out to share music with. His chest warms at the thought, and the gentle knot behind his sternum tightens ever so slightly.

Rei gestures for Nagisa to sit closer as the blonde hands him the left earbud. Nagisa eagerly accepts the offer… scooting boldly into the space between Rei's spread knees. Rei stiffens – they have done this before, countless times, and they always sit close due to the short reach of Nagisa's headphones – but this different, closer somehow. Normally, Nagisa would sit at his side, perhaps close enough for their shoulders to brush, but not _between his damned legs_. At this intimate distance, it would take little movement or effort for either of them to lean forward and –

Rei blushes, banishing the thought as he forces his body to relax and coolly accept Nagisa's waiting headphone. He watches, mimicking Nagisa's movement and placing the bud into his left ear, as Nagisa bends his head down to scroll through his phone in search of the song. Curiously, Rei peers over the phone to watch Nagisa search, only to find himself impossibly closer than before – now mere centimeters from Nagisa's face. A simple quarter turn and their noses would collide.

Suddenly, the comfortable patch of sunlight is far too hot for Rei's liking. Nagisa's body heat is far too close for this unbearably warm weather. His gentle smile is radiating far too much intensity, and Rei thinks he might combust. He clears his throat in a futile attempt to hide the (now much darker) blush that spreads down his neck, and straightens his back, turning to glare at the feet of the passersby to his right, hoping none of them question the pair of swimmers sitting a bit too close for comfort.

"I really think you'll like this song, Rei-chan," Nagisa continues excitedly, interrupting Rei's nervous thoughts. Rei pretends he didn't hear the sing-song quality of the way Nagisa said his name. "I don't really know many of the lyrics, but it's called 'Beautiful Backbone', and the title reminded me of you!"

Rei nearly chokes. The ground must be lava. He is sitting in a furnace. "Aha, is that so?" he huffs, laughing silently as Nagisa agrees and launches into a description of the sound of the song and how it seems to differ from the band's normal sound. Rei can't seem to pay attention as he imagines Nagisa admiring Rei's "beautiful backbone" from afar, in quiet moments when he sheds his jacket before entering the pool, when they are changing in the club room, while he stretches before a race. Is that what he meant by the comment? Maybe it was intended to accuse Rei of the same behavior? When had Nagisa noticed his quiet glances?

Rei mentally pinches himself, descending back to reality. He surely meant nothing sinister by the comment. When he tunes back in to the moment in front of him, Nagisa is just beginning to gush his appreciation over the vocalist's gently gruff voice, only to be interrupted by the first few, low notes of the song, plucked on a guitar.

Just before the first verse can start, Nagisa is already interrupting with the brief commentary Rei had grown to respect and anticipate. "Don't you love the way the guitars accent each other there?" Nagisa asks excitedly, quickly, so as to not interrupt too much of the song. Still reeling from his blush, Rei simply nods, closing his eyes as the first verse begins, allowing the (would he describe it as melancholic?) voice to wash over him. Two verses pass before Nagisa interjects again, briefly pondering the meaning of the few English lyrical lines, cursing his broken understanding of the language.

Rei opens his eyes in the middle of the chorus, pleased to find that he is truly enjoying the song. Nagisa's choices are often hit-or-miss to Rei's preferences, so it's always a welcome surprise when they are in agreement. He peers down at Nagisa as the boy hums along with the music, eyes closed and head bobbing rhythmically. Nagisa's cheeks are dusted pink in ecstasy, and the corners of his lips pull into a gentle grin. The knot in Rei's chest tightens again, and he suspects it has little to do with the melancholy lyrics of the song.

He is nearly caught off-guard for a third time when Nagisa shoots his gaze up to Rei's own, his hair flopping comically with the sudden movement, asking if Rei is enjoying the song thus far. Rei almost forgets to hum in agreement, preoccupied by the blinding brightness of Nagisa's crimson eyes. He lifts his hand to the back of his neck, squinting in embarrassment, and perhaps the need to lessen the intensity of the overpowering stare threatening to knock Rei off-balance.

"Y-yeah, I really, really like it, Nagisa-kun," he chuckles, braving a glance back toward the boy's face. He finds Nagisa beside himself with happiness, his smile wider and eyes somehow brighter. Rei fights the urge to clutch at his chest in a desperate attempt to untie that irritating knot behind his sternum.

"I knew you would like this one, Rei-chan!" Nagisa gushes, placing a small hand just above Rei's bare knee, exposed by the fabric of his athletic shorts having risen to his mid-thigh, Nagisa's fingers absently gripping Rei's thigh in excitement.

Something inside Rei finally combusts, and suddenly the sun, Nagisa's touch, the earbud, and Rei's own feverish heart are all too much, too hot, and its everything he can do to fight the tomato blush reclaiming his face as he (throwing logical judgement out the window) places a larger, gentle hand over Nagisa's. Emboldened by Nagisa's breathless, responding gaze, Rei pulls his knees together, affectionately squeezing Nagisa between them.

"Thank you for sharing this with me, Nagisa-kun," he says quietly, eyes cast downward, pushing the frames of his glasses up the bridge of his nose with his free hand. "I-I always enjoy listening to music with you." He quickly, firmly, squeezes Nagisa's hand to emphasize his appreciation, daring a glance upward once more.

When the small boy's eyes widen in response, Rei suddenly regrets everything he has ever done. How could he be so foolish? This was much too far. The chances that Nagisa would return any sort of affectionate feelings (not that Rei would know anything about having affectionate feelings toward a teammate, no sir, do not ask him, he will deny it until his face is as blue as his hair) are incredibly slim, and Rei has probably just successfully scared Nagisa away from anything resembling a comfortable friendship. The team is ruined.

He stiffens as his mind reels, and before he can begin stuttering an apology, the surprised "o" on Nagisa's lips breaks into a dazzling grin, and he's giggling, hand gone from Rei's knee (Rei pushes down a whimper at the absence of its warmth) and covering his mouth. His hair is glinting in the sunlight again (Rei really should have picked a spot in the shade), his cheeks are dusted pink in the ecstasy of his laughter, crows' feet pinch at the corner of his eyes while his nose scrunches, and Rei thinks that Nagisa might be the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. The music in his ear fades as he is overwhelmed with the desire to pull Nagisa's hand away from his face, reach behind the boy's flushed neck with his other hand, tangle long fingers into those absurdly golden waves, and silence the boy's giggles by crashing their lips together.

"I always love sharing my music with you, Rei-chan~!" Nagisa huffs breathlessly as his laughter slows, and Rei decides he is officially done for.

Despite his better judgement, Rei feels himself lean forward almost imperceptibly. His hand lifts from its safe place balled up on his own knee to cup Nagisa's elbow, and Nagisa is all bright eyes and dazzling smiles as he tilts his head just a hair, and unless he is imagining it, Rei thinks his eyelashes are fluttering closed ever so slowly.

"Nagisa! Rei!" they hear, flinching at the unexpected timbre of Makoto's voice cutting through the crowd at some distance behind them. Rei turns guiltily, the small earbud falling from his ear into his lap, acutely aware of how _impossible_ it's going to be to hide this obscene blush cascading straight down his entire damn _chest_. Luckily, it seems, their senpai is far enough away that he has no business being able to see the details of Rei's flustered state. They will have to find him momentarily. After catching his breath, Rei sighs (in disappointment and perhaps relief) as the moment, whatever it had been, ends.

Nagisa is winding the headphones around his phone as he rises to his feet, asking Rei some question or another about the song, and Rei can only nod, mumbling something akin to a "yes, I enjoyed that song, thank you". He hopes Nagisa understood.

As he looks ahead to stand, Rei finds himself blinded again by his small teammate, already standing over him with that same bright halo of sunlight surrounding his head, one hand on a knee and the other extended toward Rei, an encouraging smile stretched across his lips. Rei mentally crumples the tally sheet that had been keeping track of the number of times Nagisa had left him utterly dazed within the past 6 minutes, clearing his throat as well as his head, and takes Nagisa's hand in his own as the boy pulls him up with ease.

Rei pretends not to notice how Nagisa's hand lingers a few seconds longer than necessary before they head off to find the rest of their teammates. He tries not to think about the race and relay he has to participate in later, tries not to wonder whether he will be able to concentrate.

Nagisa turns toward Rei to offer a beaming smile of victory when they manage to find the source of Makoto's earlier inquiring voice.

No, Rei decides, following the boy toward their senpai. He will most definitely not be able to concentrate for the rest of the day.

* * *

The song Nagisa showed him was "Utsukushii Sebone (Beautiful Backbone)" by OLDCODEX, which I have been yelling about for like months. I told you this damn fic was self-indulgent. Check out the song here!: watch?v=UzkzI74wmwA

The inspiration for the fic was the cover photo (which I still can't find a source for? RIP bc it's so good)

Anyway, I should be posting more swimming gays soon, but mostly on my AO3 account! Check out the other things I have here, though - some original work with a dash of Percy Jackson fanfic.

(ﾉ^ヮ^)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧


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